Just my frustrations today

So I want to quit nursing because for what ever reason my body does NOT lose weight until I'm done nursing....I feel like it is selfish of me to chose this because I should be doing what is best for my bug-a-roo. But to be honest I HATE looking at myself in the mirror because I feel so fat that the person I see isn't how I feel I should look. Plus I don't have many fat clothes and I don't want to buy more. I'm already eating lean, and trying to get in as many work outs as I can. I wish body fat came off as easy as it gets on. So IF I was to wean my kiddo off onto a bottle what is the best way? I'm not sure what to do. Sometimes with all of the stress and hassle of nursing I wonder if it is even worth it....I feel like I'm really hard on myself so I feel like, maybe if I get on the scale it will not be as bad as I think it is and then I won't beat up on myself so much...but if I get on the scale and it is much worse then I thought it would be I will be more angry and dislike my current situation even more....yeah, getting on the scale....not a good idea. Sorry my sweet baby looks like momma's gonna try to get that baby weight off now. If you have any good tips please leave them!