Dancing like nobody is watching

Before I had kids I would have said that I didn't get emotional very often. After having my first baby that totally changed things. With having a baby recently I would have to say I'm down right sappy. The other day I was getting ready for the day and I was listening to my ipod, when my oldest came into the bathroom wanting to change the Pandora to the Walt Disney Family Station we had fun dancing to songs like "I just can't wait to be King" from the Lion King, and "Be Our Guest" from Beauty and the Beast. We were having fun singing and dancing along and spending some one on one time while the baby was asleep. For me it was great because I was getting something done while spending time having fun with my kiddo. The original "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" song started to play when my son said, "Mommy dance with me." I picked him up and he held one of my hands up while we danced. He put his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my neck and I lost it. I just can't get over how much love you can have for your kids. As we made small circles in our cramped bathroom I couldn't help but think about the years that he has grown up and how fast he has changed from baby to boy and how many wonderful memories we've already had. Then I couldn't help but think about the future memories I might have. Maybe the day, hopefully 20+ years, when we are at his wedding (and I hope there is dancing) and having a mother/son dance. I had to snap back to the moment so I didn't lose this memory. There aren't going to be many moments where he will want to have me dance with him. As he gets older he wants to be more independent and I'm sure there will be times where I don't get to hug him everyday so I'm trying to soak up as much as I can.

X's and Ohs

So I'm sure that all people have been there, suddenly in the presence of AN EX. I have a few of them...not many. I ran into this EX at the mall. I was getting backpack for Ben and the only store that had what I was looking for was at the store that this EX's family owns. (Really, what are the odds) I kinda felt my face go red and I suddenly felt SUPER self conscious about my clothes, weight, hair, makeup...everything. I started to talk to the EX's dad and I HAD to talk up life, talk about how crazy but great life was/is. I was talking about my cute boys and how well my family was doing. Now when I get nervous, I become like the THING THAT WOULDN'T SHUT UP. (Even more then how much I already talk...I know hard to believe) I keep talking so much that my mouth is dry and but I'm still talking! What is it about seeing EX's that makes you want to be better then them? Makes you feel like you have to have things better then they do, better life, better looking spouse, better looking kids, better cars, smarter then they are...or something! (If you don't ever feel this way then I guess I'm just super shallow, and snooty) I feel like I have a cute family (And I don't feel like I can play the 'look at me don't you wish you could still have me' card because I'm still post baby fat) so I felt like I can totally play the cute family card. I wrapped up the conversation and said something like..."It was nice to see you, tell your family I said hi"...blah, blah, blah. And I walked away thinking...why does that have to be so awkward? Well there are SOOO many obvious reasons. But does this have to ruin the joys of spending money at the mall? Does it have to destroy one of my favorite things to do? And most importantly....Why haven't I lost that last 20 lbs of baby fat so I can look and feel DAMN HOT?! Really the best part of this whole thing though was I got to walk out of that store and pass the other shops to where the hubs and my cute kids were and feel like I didn't miss out on anything. I'm very lucky that I have such a cute family and that I totally married someone sooo hot!

Terms Before Reading

Terms before Reading
I know that I already have a family blog, but this blog is just more for my own thoughts and experiences that may not be best for the family one. This is where the gloves come off. I'm probably a bit harsh and may not use the most lady like of words. (Which I will keep to a minimum) I'm starting this blog because I will spend time writing here on my computer where I might not spend the time writing in my journal. So please feel welcome to read and even leave comments (Which I love, unless they are totally harsh..in which I might just block you). I know that sometimes it might be hard to keep up with where I'm going with my thoughts but if you can relate or laugh then great.

Intro
For those of you who don't know (which is everyone since only my family knows what this means) NEUBA is what my childhood imaginary friend's family's (yes my imaginary friend had a whole family...who lived in New-tah) way of saying CHEERS; so my blog basically means CHEERS TO LIFE.
I have a lot of interesting experiences in life that some of you might relate to, some of them you might not. Either way this is a chance for you to get to know the REAL ME. (which often can be a bit scatter brained)


I was with my family at walmart...no, maybe I need to explain a bit more....I've recently had a baby and I'm still in the battle front with the evil enemy BABY FAT which means my wardrobe contains the much dreaded FAT CLOTHES. So back to the beginning...I'm at walmart with my family and I want a pair of (ironically) "skinny jeans". You know the kind of jeans that you would wear with a longer top and have them tucked into boots...Well I hate spending a lot of money on clothes that I'm not planning on staying in for much longer (hopefully) so I was kinda curious to see if walmart would have some (scary and sad that I would even admit to shopping there but we are still poor college students who have kids). I found a few dark blue colored jeans that I would try on, I asked my hubs to watch the kids while I tried on 2 pairs of jeans. I walked to the dressing area and felt like my life had hit a new rock bottom. I remember being in my late teens telling myself that I would NEVER let myself wear walmart clothes. But here I was my 24 year old self...trying on walmart pants. I quickly got over that because I became more worried that I wouldn't be able to FIT into these dreaded walmart pants. (Which one pair was tight and one was lose but both the same size, just a different cut) Granted I wish was in a smaller size but at least I didn't need to go into a bigger size RIGHT?! Each time that I slid on a pair of jeans I examined myself in the mirror and thought the following: Crap! Why am I so fat?! How does my butt look in these? Do these make me look like I'm a stuffed sausage? Would I really wear these if I bought them? Am I really going to buy walmart pants? While I was checking myself out in the blue jeans and being really critical of how I thought I looked I had another thought...How many girls/women/females try on clothes and feel crappy about how they look? How many of us are WAY TO HARD ON OURSELVES? It was a this moment that I decided that I wanted to write this blog. I need a way out of my head to TRY to make sense of what I'm thinking and feeling.

And I'm kinda sleepy...so I'm sorry if this has moments where it doesn't make sense.